


Fashion Show

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Gen, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Good Sibling Vanya Hargreeves, Sassy Five (as always)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: Klaus finds how amazing Allison's wardrobe is, and that can only mean one thing... a fashion show!
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Kudos: 45





	Fashion Show

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to get this idea off my chest

Klaus was lost in the house again. Fair, he was high as a kite, but the house was also fairly big and everyone got lost sometimes. "Dude, that's Allison's room," whispered Ben as he tried to steer Klaus away from it. 

Klaus laughed, "Oh, Ben. We all share the house. Communism, you know?" 

Ben rolled his eyes. "That's not what communism is, but I wouldn't expect you to know that. Anyway, let's just get out of h--" 

"Let's go in." Klaus headed straight into the bedroom and wandered around before finding a door. "I didn't think our bedrooms connected," he slurred, "Maybe it leads to _my_ room!" he marveled at Ben. "We found a secret tunnel!" 

Ben laughed. "Okay, Stoner Steve. Open the door to the _secret tunnel_. Maybe we'll find your bedroom so you can take that nap I've been telling you to have." He crossed his arms. "Or you could fall asleep in Allison's room and she'd completely understand." 

"Ben, Ben, Ben... Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben. Naps are for children." Klaus shivered and regained his breath. "I'm a fully functioning adult." 

Ben cocked an eyebrow. "With your little ghost friend to babysit you?" 

"Exactly! We're a _team_. I get high and you make sure that the yellow monsters in the corner of the room don't bite me." he giggled softly before taking another hit off his blunt. 

Ben peered over Klaus's shoulder. "What monsters?" 

"Y'know... those ones." Klaus pointed to the corner of the room. There was a couch with a yellow teddy bear on it. 

"Do the monsters look like bears?" 

"Thank God you see them too. I thought I was _extremely_ high for a moment." He waved at the teddy bear. "Hello!" 

Ben huffed and steered Klaus towards the door they had found. "Open it. Find your bedroom. Take the nap." 

Klaus nodded. He twisted the doorknob and lazily forced the door open. It was a small room with many rows of hangers, each one decorated with an elegant dress or skirt. Allison even had an entire wall of shoes. "Christ on a cracker... this is beautiful!" he walked around and touched each dress, letting the fabric slip through his fingers. "Why didn't she tell us about this magical closet?" 

"Because people don't walk around talking about their closets. It'd be weird if she was as obsessed with this as you are. And plus, with her seemingly androgynous brother who already wears her skirt without asking, it makes sense that she wouldn't tell you that she has a whole other stash of delicacies for you to peruse through." He wiggled his fingers playfully. 

"She likes it when I wear her clothes. Admit it, you do too. I'm pretty as fu--" 

Suddenly, Allison stepped in. "Klaus, what are you doing here?" she asked confusedly, "And why are you in my closet?" 

Klaus smiled as if he hadn't been caught red-handed. "I thought this was the door to my room, Allie. Turns out it was just clothes." 

"So why are you still here?" 

Klaus bit his lip. "Because fashion," he sighed dreamily, giving a grand gesture and a fake smile. 

Allison crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Take off the hoodie. Prove you didn't steal one of my shirts." 

Klaus groaned and lazily lifted the black hoodie off his shoulders to show off a stained yellow tanktop. There were holes in the sides of it and in the front, barely showing off his nipples. He pouted. "Allison, don't look at me like that. I'm in my pajamas." 

"You sleep naked. You made a conscious decision to wear that and I'm shocked." Allison walked forward and smelled the hoodie. She gagged. "Klaus! How many times do I have to tell you that perfume can't replace a shower?" she dropped the sweatshirt onto the floor. "You're a hazard." 

Klaus laughed. "Thank you, dear sister. Should I just leave now?" he looked back at the door. 

Allison shook her head and pushed him into the closet. "You need to look like part of society. Pick something to wear for the day and return it to me tonight when you change into your... um... _pajamas._ " She made a face. 

Klaus gasped. "That is... beyond generous." he gazed at all the clothes on racks and shelves. All the pretty sequins and fabrics seemed to taunt him. "Christ, this is gorgeously overwhelming." 

Allison smiled. "Do you need a jury to decide?" 

Klaus's eyes sparkled. "You mean like a fashion show?" He clapped his hands together excitedly.

Allison chuckled, "Call it what you like. I can get the sibs around and you'll just show off the ones you have in mind." 

Klaus nodded. "That would be lovely. Luther's who knows where doing who knows what with who knows whom, so he can't come. He'd also ruin the show." Klaus chuckled. He didn't like Luther all that much, even if they were brothers. Allison rolled her eyes. 

"Fine. I'll go get the others and you just decide what you want to show off." she walked out of the room. 

Klaus walked around the closet, observing the materials. He decided on a floral Hawaiian shirt with some khaki shorts. It was a bit on the "dad" side of life, but he didn't care. He could make it work. He folded the outfit and set in on a wooden chair in the corner. Next, he took out a cropped long-sleeve shirt that said "Femboy Hooters" across the top of it, then some orange short-shorts. 

"Seriously?" asked Ben, "You're going to wear that?" 

Klaus huffed, "It's for the aesthetic, Casper. Shut up and let the fashion master do his thing." 

"I'm not against the shirt. I'm against the shorts. You should wear an orange skirt instead; your ass isn't exactly something that needs attention. There's not much to see there." He leaned back against the doorframe, smirking. Klaus rolled his eyes, put the skirt back, then pulled out a matching skirt. He held it below his belt to display what it might look like. Ben nodded. "That's wonderful. I'll shut up now, just so that I can give you more advice during the fashion show." 

Klaus smiled dearly and set the Hooters outfit on the wooden chair with the other outfit. "Only one more outfit to go," he muttered.

"You're only doing three outfits?"

"Christ, Ben. Don't you know I only have three moods?" 

"Drunk, high, and asleep?" the ghost cocked his eyebrow. 

Klaus groaned. "Shut up, Ben." He then proceeded to pick out the most hippie outfit he could find. A long white and blue button-down shirt, long and flowy white pants, and a pretty belt with a golden cowboy buckle. He conjured Ben into the physical form. "Could you grab those sunglasses for me?" he asked, pointing to the round ones sitting on a shelf. 

Ben looked at him in shock. "You brought me into the physical world for _that?"_ he gawked. 

Klaus nodded. "Essentially, yes. I'll also need those sandals in the corner." 

Ben put his face in his hands. "You're unbelievable, Klaus." he did his brother's bidding anyway, grabbing the accessories and handing them to him. 

"Thank you, dear brother," Klaus beamed. He folded the clothes and set them on the chair. "Alright, let's gather those bitches around." 

Three minutes later, everyone (except Luther and Pogo) was seated on Allison's bed in front of the closet, where Klaus was getting changed into the Hawaiian outfit. "I bet he's pranking us," Five whispered to Vanya, "He's going to burst out of that closet stark naked and tell us that we're too simple-minded to see his clothes." He smirked a little. Vanya laughed at the image of that, especially because she could see him doing that. 

Ben wished he could make sarcastic side comments like he used to. Listening to Klaus all the time was such a handful. The man had so many disturbing shower thoughts, Ben could've made an entire blog dedicated to Klaus's strange ramblings. 

Diego was only there because he had nothing better to do. All his knives were in the shop to be repaired, and the boredom of not being able to fight something was too overwhelming. He'd already spit on Reginald's grave three times that morning. 

Moments later, the pansexual version of Jesus sprang out of the closet. He struck a dramatic pose in front of them. "Ta-da!" he announced. 

Five snickered. "You make me want to fire up the grill and invite the new neighbors over for a cookout." 

Vanya switched to German to personally roast Klaus on an astronomical level. "Du siehst sehr gerade aus!" she laughed. (Translation: _You look very straight_.) 

Klaus gasped. "Wie kannst du es wagen!" (Translation: _How dare you_ _!_ ) He twirled around and marched back into the closet. That one was definitely a no.

The siblings waited in anticipation as their brother changed into the next outfit. "I bet he's going over the top this time," whispered Allison, "And I don't blame him." 

Klaus burst out of the door in his Hooters outfit. Everyone stared. They've never seen anything like that in Allison's closet before. Allison blushed as everyone turned to her. "It was for Halloween one year!" she explained, "Don't judge me for being a teenager at one point!" 

Everyone murmured in agreement and turned back to Klaus. "I love it," said Diego, "Just don't wear that in front of Pogo. He'll dress code you for sure." He crossed his arms over his chest. 

Vanya nodded. "It's very cute, in my opinion. I think it's a good look on you. However, I agree with Diego. Pogo would be very stern about it." 

Five didn't say anything on the matter. Klaus's fashion sense was often beyond his understanding, so sometimes it was best to keep quiet. He was surprised that Klaus hadn't shown up in sequins or high heels yet. "Show us the next outfit," he said, twirling his finger around in a circle. 

Klaus skipped away into the closet, humming as he closed the door behind him. He had a little trouble with the belt buckle (he wasn't used to belts), but when he figured it out, he felt confident enough to step out. The white and blue jacket was open to reveal his chest, the sunglasses accenting his long hair and slight beard. Sandals decorated his dainty feet. He looked like the richest hippie in the world. 

A silence fell upon the room as everyone stared. They were in awe. This was by far the best outfit Klaus had put together... ever. He looked like such an icon with his longish hair and beard. The sunglasses also did wonders. The sandals on his feet only made him look more like the stereotypical (and geographically incorrect) Jesus. Ben started out the clapping. Only Klaus could hear the clapping, but the message must've gotten through to the other siblings somehow because soon they all began jamming their hands together in rapid applause. Vanya cheered, Five smiled for once, Diego laughed, and Allison smirked lightly. She was so proud that her brother was able to make something out of her _secondary_ closet. 

As for the primary closet, no one was ever going to find that. She couldn't allow Klaus's fashion taste to explore that extravagance. 


End file.
